Right! So Summer 2008 was a complete wash out: Field Day was a flood; the bogs at Underage claimed the lives of many a young squirt, and as for Bestival, well, the Battle Of The Somme comes to mind.

Never fear though, our optimistic friends at the BBC have promised a “long, hot summer” (as we write this, driving wind and rain lash the windows of LTD towers), so get out your sandals and sun cream and prepare for a June, July and August full of parties in the park and sex in the woods. Shame on you!

Hard Rock Calling
Fir 26 /Sat 27 /Sun 28 June, Hyde Park
www.hardrockcalling.co.uk

So, you can’t get to Glastonbury this year then, eh? Well, why not stay in London and see Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Fleet Foxes anyway (we won’t mention The Kooks). With The Killers also due to appear Hard Rock Calling is easily the most star-studded occasion in 2009’s London festival season.

Having extended itself to three days, the Hyde Park event is possibly the capital’s only real challenge to the more sprawling and rural likes of Glastonbury and The Isle Of Wight… And if you can’t stomach the stench of cowpats and all that nauseating fresh air, why not just stay in town and pretend you’re “somewhere in a field in Hampshire” this year instead?

They say: “London’s only rock festival…”
We say: “Rock? The Kooks?”


Wireless 2009
Sat 4 /Sun 5 July, Hyde Park
www.wirelessfestival.co.uk

Whoa! What the fuck happened to Wireless this year? Basement Jaxx? Kanye West? Paul bloody Oakenfold? It seems like the lads from Barclays (they’ve taken over from 02) weren’t happy with the festival’s guitar based image and have brought in a few heavyweight names like Kelly Rowland and Alesha Dixon to shake things up a bit for 2009.

The capital’s gonna be awash with rock and indie based day-fests this summer so why not go a bit pop? And if it avoids the debacle of Morrissey’s 2008 tirade on the evils of eating meat, then all the better.

For those having guitar withdrawal symptoms though, there’s always the Bella Union Stage where the brilliant Fanfarlo, St Vincent and Here We Go Magic will all perform over the weekend.

They say: “A chance to experience the excitement and watch the best in popular music right on your doorstep.”
We say: “Pop-Tastic!”


Lovebox
Sat 18 /Sun 19 July, Victoria Park
www.lovebox.net

Our friends from Groove Armada seem to have really outdone themselves this year, with the Lovebox 2009 line-up looking the best we’ve ever seen it. ‘Heart, Soul, Rock & Roll’ is the tag line and we think they’ve lived up to it as our favourite London festival once again bridges the gap between indie, dance and pop in its own effortless style.
Joining the organisers Groove Armada to play over the weekend will be Doves, Ladyhawke, Noah And The Whale and New York Dolls; and there’s even a performance from Duran Duran which, somehow, doesn’t seem weird.

This is London’s most eclectic festival and with 2009 seeing its expansion to an even bigger 40 acre site, it looks like it’ll be one of its best (again).

They say: “New acts, performers, stage sets and special effects from all over the world for what promises to be a carnival of anarchic entertainment.”
We say: “Anything with bumper cars is alright by us.”


The 1-2-3-4 Shoreditch Festival
Sun 26 July, Shoreditch Park
www.the1234shoreditch.com

A bit of a minnow among London’s other heavyweight one-dayers, The 1-2-3-4 remains one of the most laid back days out in the festival calendar. Despite its concentration on smaller bands, this year’s line-up sees performances from Patrick Wolf and The Rakes (as well as staple scene faves, KASMS, Ipso Facto and Hatcham Social).

With a stage run by the folk from PIX we’d expect the 1-2-3-4 to have its finger set firmly on the pulse of what’s hot and what’s not on the unsigned scene, and they haven’t disappointed. Video Nasties and A Place To Bury Strangers are our ones to watch.

They say: “The 1-2-3-4 is about supporting the new East London music scene by putting on as many hot local bands as possible, and not pandering to the music industry and all their cohorts.”
We say: “Hear hear!”


Field Day
Sat 1 Aug, Victoria Park
www.fielddayfestivals.com

The brainchild of a quartet of London’s hippest promoters (Adventures In The Beetroot Field, Bugged Out, Bloggers Delight and Eat Your Own Ears) Field Day is one of the summer’s most eagerly anticipated events. This year’s line-up includes the only English festival appearance by post-rock Gods, Mogwai, as well as Little Boots, The Horrors and Micachu and The Shapes.

This is East London’s flagship event so expect wax moustaches and deck shoes. It might be a bit too cool for school, but if you can bear the Hoxton twats, this is actually a pretty good line-up and, despite previous years’ PA hiccups, you can usually rely on Field Day for a great day out. Other highlights include an ‘onion-peeling contest’. We don’t know either.

They say: “A village fete in all its quintessential, eccentric English glory.”
We say: “Worth it if just for Mogwai.”


Underage Festival
Sun 2 Aug, Victoria Park
www.underagefestivals.com

Field Day’s brat sibling, Underage is basically the same thing but for a largely confused audience in the midst of puberty. The product of a recent trend that has seen ‘young people’ setting their own agenda in going out (what’s wrong with a litre of Mega White up the rec? we ask), Underage has a strictly under nineteens policy, 8pm curfew and was founded by a seventeen year old.

Oddly, the line-up looks a bit more interesting than Field Day’s (we should really stop hanging round with teenagers), with Santogold, Ladyhawke and Patrick Wolf appearing. Acts like The Horrors and The Mystery Jets straddle both line-ups, but Mogwai have been removed – presumably being deemed a bit too grown up for the occasion. Aw.

They say: “Underage Festival continues to distance itself from more grown up music festivals and provide the nation’s youth with an extravagant musical playground.”
We say: “Piss off!”


South West Four
Sat 29 Aug, Clapham Common
www.southwestfour.com

If Get Loaded in The Park is Clapham’s bank holiday party event this year, then South West Four is its slightly more serious cousin. For dance purists only, 2009’s SW4 line-up features DJ heavyweights like Sasha and John Digweed, David Guetta and Eric Prydz.

Being perhaps the only major festival in London this year that’s exclusively DJs, SW4 is a fairly niche event but the speed with which tickets sell out each year is proof that there’s still a hungry dance crowd in the capital, despite the saturation of indie and rock in recent years.

They say: “London’s leading dance festival.”
We say: “London’s only dance festival?”


Get Loaded In The Park
Sun 30 Aug, Clapham Common
http://www.getloadedinthepark.com/

With Orbital headlining and Roni Size, Laurent Garnier and Peaches all also due to play, it seems like Get Loaded has gone the way of the dance this year (2008 headliners included Gossip and Iggy And The Stooges). Unlike Wireless though, the Clapham event seems to still be keeping it real.

Dance legends Orbital will be celebrating the twentieth anniversary of their classic debut single, ‘Chime’ with this, their only London festival performance of 2009, and with Royksopp, Size and Peaches also on the bill 2009 promises to be another year that’ll reinforce this event’s solid reputation as a place to get, well, ‘loaded’.

Taking place on the August bank holiday Sunday and situated in the comparatively serene surrounds of Clapham Common, Get Loaded In The Park might just be the perfect antidote to the unrelenting mania that is The Notting Hill Carnival; and with not much in the way of rock on the line-up, it doesn’t really clash with Reading either. Clever.

They say: “Get ready for an audio adventure unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.”
We say: “Ready? We were born ready…”



Ones To Watch : The Top Ten acts you must get to as if your life depends on it…

One : Bruce Springsteen at Hard Rock Calling
Two : Patrick Wolf at The 1-2-3-4 Shoreditch Festival
Three : Mogwai at Field Day
Four : Peaches at Get Loaded In The Park
Five : Doves at Lovebox
Six : The Big Pink at Field Day
Seven : Andy Butler (Hercules And Love Affair DJ Set) at Lovebox
Eight : King Charles at The 1-2-3-4 Shoreditch Festival
Nine : Lion Club at Underage Festival
Ten : Here We Go Magic at Wireless